


Comfort and Love

by Latch_is_what_I_want_to_be_called



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, My First Fanfic, Oh My God, Spoilers for Maze Runner, spoilers for death cure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-03 00:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4079905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latch_is_what_I_want_to_be_called/pseuds/Latch_is_what_I_want_to_be_called
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas thinks that comfort doesn't really exist in the Maze, Newt shows him otherwise.  After a night of getting comfort from Newt, Thomas returns the favor.  Along the path of comfort, they learn that comfort can also be a sign of love.</p><p>Basically it's Thomas and Newt comforting each other.  A lot.  It's just going to be multiple chapters of comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas can't sleep and walks into the forest. Someone follows him and offers him comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic so I'm nervous! Also, I suck at summaries so that just adds to my nervousness. Anyways, I hope you like Chapter One!

Thomas has no idea what is going on. He doesn't know what to feel. He's confused. And he has to admit to himself that he is terrified. His first day was a mess. Meeting Gally-- horrible, stupid Gally. Seeing Ben--terrifying, sickly Ben. It was hard to handle. Now, he's lying on the ground, trying to get just a little bit of sleep, but even getting just a minute of sleep seems impossible. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Gally with his twisted smile, or Ben writhing in pain, or he even sees the Maze walls looming over him. He wants to be a Runner, but that doesn't mean that the Maze doesn't terrify him at all. He's pretty freaked out by it. And questions keep going around and around in his head. It's all giving him a headache.

He can't take it anymore. 

He gets out of his sleeping bag, careful not to wake Chuck or the others around him, and heads toward the forest he had seen earlier. He makes sure not to step on anyone. He doesn't want to wake anyone up and get yelled at by everyone. 

He finally escapes the sleeping bodies and makes his free way to the forest--the Deadheads he thought he heard someone say earlier. He walks through it, and even though it's dark, he's able to see outlines of trees and he is cautious of what's on the ground. He doesn't want to hurt himself by tripping or crashing into a tree, that would just be embarrassing. 

He makes it about halfway through the Deadheads--or at least he thinks he has--when he thinks it's a good place to stop. The walk has made him relax a little more, allowing his mind to shut down a little, and his body to realize that it needs sleep. But it also did one other thing.

It made him realize how much he wants to cry. 

But then he thinks, no, he won't cry. If he is going to survive, he needs to stay strong. But the tears just aren't listening. They want to be released, but Thomas wasn't about to let them out. It just wasn't happening. 

He will not cry. 

But one tear manages to escape, and he wipes at it angrily. He starts shaking with the effort to keep the tears in.

A twig snaps.

Thomas snaps his head up to see a figure making its way toward him. He scoots backwards a little, trying to put more distance between him and the figure, perhaps maybe trying to hide, which would be stupid because surely the figure has noticed him by now. Then, the figure gets even closer, and Thomas can see now how tall it is. The figure speaks:

"Tommy?"

Thomas recognizes the accent. It's Newt.

Thomas releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Hey, Newt," he says.

Newt walks over to him and sits down next to him. He asks, "Why are you out here?"

Thomas sighs and pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. "I just couldn't sleep. And I got sick of just lying there, so I got up and came here." Well, it was mostly the truth. He didn't mention his thoughts were also part of the reason he came over here.

Newt says, "I'm not even going to ask you why you couldn't sleep. The first night is always the hardest. This place is bloody awful." 

They fall into silence. It's not an uncomfortable silence. In fact it's also a little comforting for Thomas, knowing that someone else is here, that he isn't completely alone. Then he remembers what he was doing before Newt came along.

He was fighting off tears.

He realizes that he still kind of is.

He doesn't want to cry in front of Newt. He really doesn't. He needs to try to get Newt to go away. 

"So why are you out here?" he asks.

"Couldn't really sleep myself," Newt responds. "I heard someone getting up and when I got up to check, I noticed you were missing. There aren't many places to go in this Hell so I figured you'd go into the Deadheads." So Thomas was right about the name of the forest.

"Okay," Thomas says. "But that doesn't explain why you followed me."

Newt chuckled a little. "Well, I know how tough getting through the first night is, so I followed you to check on you and to make sure you were okay."

Okay. Thomas wasn't exactly expecting that. He thought this was the sort of place where you fend for yourself. But, he realizes, he hasn't really been here long. Maybe things are bit different than what he has imagined. 

Thomas snaps out of his thoughts and remembers his current goal: Get Newt to go away!

"Oh," he says. "Well, I'm fine. So you can leave now." He doesn't want to sound mean, he likes Newt, he's the only one who's been truly nice to him, well, aside from Chuck. Thomas doesn't want Newt as his enemy. 

"You want me to leave, Tommy?" Newt's voice was a mix of playful, seriousness, and Thomas thinks he detected a hint of hurt.

"Yes," he answers. "No. I don't know!" He's completely frustrated. He wants Newt to go away, but he wants him to stay. He's so confused about what he really, really wants. And the tears are getting harder and harder to hold back. That's when it happens.

Two tears make their way down his cheeks.

He tries to wipe them away without Newt noticing, but of course, he notices.

"Tommy," he says in the softest tone Thomas has ever heard since he came out of that box. "You're not really fine, are you?"

Newt already knows the answer, but he wants Thomas to say it, wants him to admit it.

More tears escape Thomas's eyes, and he shakes his head. No, he's not fine.

"I'm not okay," he whispers, he voice hoarse from his effort to not completely break down in front of Newt. Newt doesn't respond, letting Thomas continue without interruption. "I'm not okay. I can't get what I saw today out of my head. All these questions just spin around and around in my head and it's just too much. I just want it to stop and I don't know how to stop it." 

Thomas is fully crying by now. He is full out sobbing. He tries to hide his face in between his knees. He tries to wipe the tears away. He tries to stop crying.

But Newt doesn't let him.

Instead, Newt pulls Thomas to his chest, and wraps his arms around him. A hug. Newt is giving Thomas a hug. Newt is trying to comfort Thomas. Thomas thought there was no comfort in a place like this. But Newt is here, giving him the one thing Thomas never thought he'd get. 

Thomas returns the hug, and sobs even harder, because he knows Newt won't do anything to hurt him. He feels safe in his friend's embrace. He feels like nothing can hurt him. He cries, and he knows, he doesn't have to feel embarrassed. 

Newt rubs his back, and tries to soothe him with gentle words, "Shh, Tommy. It'll be okay. You'll be okay. I'm here. Shh. Don't worry so much. Just let it out. Let it all out. Trust me, you'll feel better afterwards."

Somehow Thomas cries harder. He didn't think that was possible with the way the sobs are shaking his entire body, and how a hundred tears are streaming down his cheeks every minute. But now it seems like he's crying two hundred tears a minute. And Newt stays with him the whole time. He holds him to his chest the whole time. He rubs his back, he speaks soothing words to him, he is truly there the whole time. And Thomas can't be more thankful.

Finally, Thomas stops sobbing so much, just a few sobs here and there. Tears still streamed down his face, though not as many as before. Now he is just reduced to shaking from the aftermath and trying to get air into his lungs. The crying has worn him out, and has made it so getting air seemed impossible.

"Shh. Relax, Tommy. You'll be okay. Shh. I'm here. I'm here. Just breathe, Tommy, just breathe. It'll be okay. Shh." Newt tries to get Thomas to relax, and it seems to be working.

The shaking is going away, and Thomas doesn't have to fight so hard to get air into his lungs anymore. The tears disappear, and Thomas takes a deep breath. He feels exhausted, but much better than before Newt had found him. 

He take a few more deep breaths, before he feels okay enough to remove himself from Newt's chest. Newt's hands move from his back to his shoulders, gently squeezing them to let him know that he is still there. That he will always be there. 

"Feel a little better?" Newt asks gently.

Thomas nods, he did feel better. But it was only then that he realizes that he has completely soaked Newt's shirt with his tears. 

"Newt, your shirt, I'm sorry," Thomas is quick to apologize. The Gladers don't have a ton of clothes. They usually just wear the clothes they had on when they came up from the Box.

Thomas opens his mouth to apologize again, but Newt is quick to stop him. "Tommy, it's fine. I don't care about the bloody shirt. It'll dry off eventually. I just care if you're okay or not."

"Why?" Thomas asks.

"Why what?" is Newt's response. He doesn't know what exactly Thomas is asking about--the guy asks a lot of questions.

"Why do you care?" Oh. Newt wasn't expecting that, but Thomas wants to know. 

Newt has to take a little time to think about his answer, and Thomas fears he has made a mistake by asking that question. But then Newt gives him an answer he wasn't really expecting. 

"I care because you are my friend. And I hate seeing my friends hurt. I see it almost every bloody day, but yet I don't ever get used to it. It's hard. And I don't want to get used to it. Getting used to it means I can't give them the comfort they need. And in a place like this, you need all the comfort you can get. And even though I barely know you, even though we just met not even twelve hours ago, I know you are my friend, and I know I can trust you. I don't know how I know, but I do."

Thomas is shocked. Thomas knows he and Newt are friends, but he didn't know that Newt trusts him so much. Thomas hasn't been there for more than a day, but he knows how much the Gladers value trust. 

Thomas looks straight into Newt's eyes and says, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Newt puts his arm around Thomas's shoulders, and Thomas leans into him. They sit there for a few seconds in silence, until Thomas gives a few coughs, he didn't realize until now that his throat is incredibly dry and sore. 

Newt notices the pain-filled coughs, and asks, "Do you want some water?"

Thomas nods, and Newt tells Thomas that he will be right back and runs off to get Thomas some water. Thomas notices Newt's limp again, and wonders where he got it. He wonders a lot of things about Newt, but Thomas decides that he will not think or ask any questions for the rest of the night. He was too exhausted. It takes Newt less than five minutes to return with the water, and Thomas downs it gratefully. 

Newt and Thomas are both extremely tired, so they decide to just lie down and sleep where they are. Newt has his arm around Thomas, who has his head lying on Newt's chest. Thomas is about to fall asleep, but decides to thank Newt one more time.

"Thanks, Newt. Really."

Newt chuckles. "It's fine, Tommy. I'm glad I was able to help you tonight. Now, shut up and go to bloody sleep." 

Thomas smiles and falls asleep almost immediately. Newt on the other hand stays up for just a minute more. He looks at Thomas's sleeping face and smiles. Newt doesn't really know what to think of Thomas. He's a curious one all right, but Newt knows there's something more to Thomas. He decides to think about it in the morning, for now though, he wants to sleep. But he says one last thing before he falls asleep.

"You'll be okay, Tommy. I'll make sure of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the first chapter! I hope you liked it! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt has a nightmare. Thomas comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the second chapter! I'm glad I was able to get it done. I actually put off school work to write this, but I don't really care. This is much more fun than doing homework! :D Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Thomas wakes up to groaning. He notices that it's still a bit dark, but not as dark as before. He can just make out a hint of light from where the sun will be rising soon. He remembers last night. Newt following him into the Deadheads. Newt comforting him after he breaks down. Newt lying with him as he fell asleep . . .

Thomas looks up from where he is lying on his side. And there is Newt's sleeping face. But it isn't the best sight at the moment. Newt's face is scrunched up in a pained expression. A few tears make their way down his face. Newt's breathing is fast and he's wimpering. Thomas realizes what's happening.

Newt is having a nightmare.

And a pretty bad one by the looks of it. Thomas may not have any memories, but he does know how bad nightmares can be. He thinks he might have had them a lot before he came up from the Box, but he's not sure. All he knows is that he wants to help Newt like Newt helped him.

Thomas sits up and places his hands on Newt's shoulders. He tries shaking him gently and says, "Newt. Newt. Wake up. It's okay, you're only dreaming. It's just a nightmare. Wake up!"

But Newt only thrashes and tries to push Thomas's hands off his shoulders. Thomas shakes him more roughly, giving up trying to be gentle. Newt needs to wake up. Now.

"Newt! Come on, just wake up! Newt! WAKE UP!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt snaps awake. A couple more tears escaping his eyes as he blinks up at Thomas. He looks confused as to why Thomas looks so worried until he remembers the nightmare. 

Newt closes his eyes and bangs his head against the ground. The nightmare had been the worst out of all the nightmares he's had since he'd arrived in the Glade. And he's had a lot of them.

"Hey," he hears. He opens his eyes again. He looks up at Thomas and sees how worried and panicked he looked. Thomas speaks again.

"Newt, are you okay? And don't lie to me."

Newt swallows. He knows he can't lie to Thomas. Not after what happened last night.

He takes a few deep breaths before sitting up to be eye-level with Thomas. He looks him in the eye, and knows he can tell him the truth. He knows that Thomas won't do anything to hurt him. But he has to be absolutely sure. He says, "You have to swear to me that you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

Thomas nods. "I swear."

And with those two words, Newt spills everything. He tells Thomas about how he's had nightmares since arriving in the Glade. How he dreams of the Grievers. How he dreams of everyone getting hurt, of everyone dying. And how a lot of times he is the lone survivor. How he blames himself for everyone dying. How he shouldn't have lived. 

Newt has tears streaming down his cheeks, but he's not finished.

He tells Thomas how he was in the dream as well. That he had died with everyone else. And it was all Newt's fault because he didn't get to him in time. 

The images return to Newt's mind, and Newt starts sobbing uncontrollably. They are awful. Newt wants them to go away but knows they won't. They never do.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas listens to Newt and is shocked to hear how bad the nightmares are. He figured they were bad, but he didn't expect them to be that bad. He doesn't know what the Grievers look like, but they sound awful. Thomas doesn't know if he himself could handle these kinds of nightmares that Newt is having. So when Newt starts breaking down, Thomas is ready to take Newt into his arms and let him cry onto his shoulder. 

Newt is shaking and sobbing and tears are rapidly streaming down his face. Newt's sobs actually sound like screams. Thomas isn't exactly sure they aren't screams. But it doesn't matter. All Thomas cares about is getting Newt to calm down.

"Newt," he says. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. Remember last night? You were there for me, now I am here for you. It's going to be okay. Just calm down. Please. Calm down."

Newt is still shaking and the tears are still flowing, but it seems like the sobbing has subsided. 

Thank God, Thomas thinks. He hates seeing Newt so broken.

Thomas starts rubbing his back, trying to get rid of the shaking next.

"Newt, relax. It's okay. It's going to be okay. I'm here. And everyone else? They're still here, too. They're not dead, they're sleeping. And you're still here, as well. You're not dead. And you don't deserve to die. Okay? You don't. Those nightmares are nothing. They're just a bunch of scary images that our stupid minds like to make up. So just relax, okay? Relax."

By the time Thomas stops talking, Newt has stopped shaking. Newt detatches himself from Thomas's shoulder and looks at Thomas. Thomas give him a little smile that Newt tries to return, only to have a few more tears fall from his eyes. Newt tries to wipe them away, but Thomas beats him to it. Thomas gently wipes the tears away with his thumbs. He then places his hands on Newt's shoulders. Thomas can't believe that only a few hours ago Newt was doing the same to him, was giving him the same kind of comfort. 

"You okay now, Newt?" he asks. 

Newt looks at him and smiles. It is a real, genuine smile. And when Newt speaks, Thomas can tell he's telling him the truth.

"I'm not okay," Newt says. "But I'm sure as bloody Hell that I'm better than before."

Thomas smiles. He's glad he was able to help Newt. 

"Do you need anything?" he asks Newt, remembering how Newt had gotten him water after his breakdown. 

"No, I'm fine, Tommy. Thank you," Newt says. 

The sun is about to rise, and Newt seems to remember something.

"Oh," he says. "I almost forgot. I need to show you something before everyone wakes up."

"What?" Thomas says.

"Just come with me," Newt says, and stands, reaching down to help Thomas to his feet.

That morning, Thomas is introduced to the monsters that haunt Newt's dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you go! You've survived the second chapter! As you all noticed, there is a bit of this chapter from Newt's POV. There was a little bit of it in chapter one, but you can really tell in this one. :) I will most likely do this with future chapters. 
> 
> I don't know when I'll post the third chapter. I might wait until tomorrow, but who knows? :) Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll post more soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas needs some comfort after being attacked by Ben. Good thing Newt is always there when he needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy I managed to get this chapter done! I wasn't really feeling well while I was writing this so I hope it's not too bad. Please enjoy!

Thomas has just been attacked by Ben, has just witnessed his death, had just thrown up everything he had eaten, and now was sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree. His eyes are closed. He keeps trying to make sense of something that doesn't make any sense at all. He can't believe this happened to him. He doesn't know why this had happened to him. His emotions are all over the place.

Confusion, he doesn't know why this happened to him. Fear, will someone else try to kill him? Relief that Alby managed to kill Ben before Ben could kill him. Guilt, he is relieved Ben had been killed. There has to be something wrong with him. He can't process all these emotions at once. It's driving him nuts! He doesn't--

"Tommy?" 

Thomas's eyes snap open and he turns his head toward the voice. And there is Newt coming toward him. Newt reaches him and sits down next to him. Thomas doesn't look at him, instead turning his attention to the ground.

"Tommy," he says. "Alby told me what happened."

Thomas glances at him, but then immediately turns back to the ground before getting a proper glimpse. Thomas doesn't know what exactly Newt is feeling, but as he thinks about it, he realises Ben was there way before him. He was a Glader way before him. And Newt seems to get along with everyone. And with that nightmare he had told Thomas about . . .

"Tommy," Newt says, snapping Thomas out of his thoughts. "Please look at me."

It takes Thomas a minute to finally really look at Newt. His heart breaks at the expression Newt has on his face. Sadness. Pure sadness. 

Newt turns his whole body to face Thomas. "Tommy, please talk to me."

Thomas looks into Newt's eyes, and finally says something. "It's my fault," he says.

Apparently Newt wasn't expecting those three words to come out of his mouth. But they're already said. There's no taking them back.

"What do you mean?" Newt asks.

Thomas looks back at the ground. "I mean it's my fault that Ben is dead. If maybe I hadn't been in the Deadheads, he wouldn't have gotten killed. And Ben said this was my fault. That this whole thing was my fault. He had to have had a reason to say that, Newt. I may not remember anything, but . . . what if I did something bad before I came here? What if I--"

"Stop."

Thomas snaps his head up to meet Newt's strong gaze. He has determination in his eyes, real strength. And it feels as if it just might be what Thomas needs. 

"This is not your fault," Newt says. And it sounds so true. 

"You don't know that, Newt . . ."

"Yes, I do. We are not who we were before we came up from that Box. The moment we arrived here we were somebody new. Every bloody thing we did in the past means nothing anymore. So stop thinking this is your bloody fault. Because it's not."

Newt stops talking and just stares at Thomas. Thomas stares back. Newt's words have calmed him. They've helped him. Just a little. But Thomas will take anything he can get. 

Newt's looking expectantly at him. Thomas says, "Okay."

"Okay?" Newt says.

Thomas nods. "Okay."

"Okay."

They sit in silence for a while before Thomas breaks it.

"Thank you."

Newt barely hears it. Thomas had barely talked in a whisper. But luckily, Newt catches it.

"You're welcome," Newt says. And he says it in such a gentle tone. Thomas finds himself leaning toward him, and Newt leans toward him. They wrap their arms around each other, and they both cry. They both let out their pain. They let everything out, and they know they can rely on each other to ground them, to truly be there. 

Newt stops crying first, and just holds Thomas while he rides out his pain. But Thomas isn't far behind Newt, and stops crying about two minutes later. Then they're just holding each other, breathing heavy from the crying. They pull away and take a look at their appearances.

"Tommy, you are one ugly shank."

"You aren't any better!"

They both smile. Their eyes faces are red from the crying and there are tear tracks left on their cheeks and they're exhausted, but they're smiling. Then Newt notices the blood on Thomas's shoulder.

"Tommy," he says, now concerned. "What happened to your shoulder?"

Newt lightly brushes over the bite wound and though it used to sting when he brushed his own hand over it, it doesn't sting at all when Newt examines it. Instead, it sends shivers throughout Thomas's body. 

"Um . . ." Thomas starts. "Ben sort of, um, bit me." Thomas looks at the ground, the memory of Ben tackling and biting him running through his mind.

"Do you mind if I take a look at it?" Newt asks.

Thomas shakes his head. "Go ahead," he says.

Thomas sits still while Newt examines his shoulder. 

"Well," Newt says. "It doesn't look too deep, and though it might still hurt, the bleeding seems to have stopped. You'll be okay."

Thomas nods. "Okay," he says. "Thanks."

Newt nods, and they both lean back against the tree. Thomas rests his head on Newt's shoulder, and Newt wraps an arm around Thomas and gives him a squeeze. Thomas relaxes and closes his eyes. Newt's hand rubs up and down his arm. Thomas feels warm. He knows he'll be okay.

Thomas falls asleep pretty fast, and Newt chuckles. He places his head on top of Thomas's, and says, "Goodnight, Tommy." Then falls asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alby was looking for Newt when he decides to check the Deadheads. He thinks Newt might've went looking for the Greenie. Alby walks over to the forest when he sees Newt and Thomas cuddling together. The sight actually makes him chuckle, and he never chuckles. 

They're just so oblivious, Alby thought.

He shakes his head and walks off, deciding to let them sleep.

"If only they could just get their klunk together," Alby says.

Yes. If only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And still no kiss. But there is a part from Alby's POV in here. I decided it might be fun to add! It gives a little insight (is that the word? Eh, oh well) on how the other Gladers are viewing them. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to update soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt is having a hard time coping with what he did to Ben. Good thing Thomas is there to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post yesterday! Finishing up my stupid English project took ALL DAY! It was torture. But now I have a new chapter for you guys today! And thank you to everyone who has commented. You all are awesome! If it weren't for you guys, I would probably not want to finish this story! So thank you and I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Pushing Ben out into the Maze was a very hard thing for Newt to do. He hates it when he has to Banish someone. It's like losing a part of your family. And knowing that they're never coming back is the worst part of it. 

As soon as Ben was gone, Newt had run off deep into the Deadheads. Sure, it hurt his leg, but he didn't care. Now he was a sobbing mess, lying on the ground, wishing he was anywhere but here. 

So many thoughts are running through Newt's head. Newt actually believes he will go insane from them.

It's your fault he's out there.

You pushed him out.

Now he's going to die.

He is never coming back.

You did this.

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

"Newt?"

Newt sits up and spins around to see Thomas coming toward him. Thomas looks like a wreck. There are still tear tracks on his cheeks from when he saw the Doors close on Ben. He walks slowly towards Newt, not knowing if Newt wants him there or not.

"Tommy?" Newt says. "What are you doing here?"

Thomas walks a little faster, getting closer with every step. "I wanted to see if you were okay or not." He's right next to Newt now, and sits down in front of him. "It's obvious that you're not." He gestures to Newt's tears and Newt tries to wipe them off, hanging his head in shame. The shuck tears just won't go away! 

"Newt," Thomas says. "It's okay if you need to cry." 

That does it.

Newt full-out bursts into tears. He's sobbing so hard that it's hard to take in air. He squeezes his eyes shut and covers his face with his hands. He doesn't want to be like this in front of Thomas. He's supposed to be strong. He wants to be strong. But he just can't seem to pick himself up.

Thank God Thomas is here.

Thomas takes Newt into his arms and Newt cries onto Thomas's shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears just like how Thomas soaked Newt's shirt with tears on his first night. Was it really just a couple nights ago? It seems like it was weeks ago. They've grown so close since then.

Thomas rubs Newt's back and whispers soothing words into Newt's ear. "Shh. It's okay, Newt. It's all gonna be okay. Shh. Just calm down. I'm here. I'll always be here for you."

Newt can't be any more grateful. But he knows it will never be okay.

"How can it be okay?" Newt chokes out. It's hard to speak through the sobs and the tears, but he manages. "This is my fault."

"What?" Thomas is shocked. He cannot believe Newt just said that. How can he think that this is his fault? 

Newt speaks again. "I pushed Ben out of the Maze. I made the decision to Banish him. It's all my fault!" Newt starts sobbing too much to talk anymore. Thomas knows he really has to calm him down now.

"Newt," he says, his voice calm and soothing. "This is not all your fault. From what I've heard you have a whole group of people--Keepers--who all vote and make decisions together, correct?"

Newt sniffles and says, "Yes."

"Then it's not all your fault. There has to have been more than one of you to make that decision. Okay? Yes, you pushed Ben out into the Maze, but you did it for a reason. And others helped Banish him. You're not alone on this. Okay? Please, Newt, believe me."

Newt cries a few more tears, but the sobbing seems to be over. Newt was too wrapped up in Thomas's words to pay attention to the crying. He takes a few deep breaths and decides that yes, Thomas is right. It's not all his fault. He had help. It wasn't all him. He can mourn Ben, but he doesn't have to mourn him thinking that it's his fault. 

Newt takes a few more deep breaths, then nods against Thomas's shoulder. Newt realizes that Thomas is still holding him. He whispers, "Okay," but he's worried that Thomas hadn't heard him.

Thomas thinks he heard Newt say okay, but wants to confirm it. "Okay?" he asks.

Newt nods.

"Okay," Thomas says. "Don't worry about blaming yourself for this, Newt. It's not worth your time."

Newt sighs and nods again. But then Thomas says something that turns all of this around--and not in a good way.

"Because this is really all my fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's kinda short! But I was kind of rushing. I hope you enjoyed it though! And I'm actually planning on posting a second chapter today. It really depends on when I get it done, but I know it'll be today! :D Keep on the lookout everyone! :D :D :D And thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas now blames himself for Ben's Banishment. Newt fixes that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to get this chapter up! School work is just horrible right now! Studying for finals is awful. Actually doing the finals is worse. But anyways, here's another chapter! Hope you like it!

Newt is sure he heard wrong. He pulls away from Thomas in shock. "What did you say?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Thomas knows what happened to Ben was his fault, not Newt's. If Thomas hadn't been in the Deadheads at the time, Ben probably wouldn't have attacked him. He just knows it. 

So when Newt started talking about how Ben's Banishment was his own fault, Thomas's heart broke. Newt shouldn't be blaming himself for things that aren't his fault. 

He looks right into Newt's eyes and repeats what he said just a few moments ago. "I said, it's my fault that Ben's dead. It's not yours Newt. It really is all my fault."

Thomas can feel tears of his own start to form, and he blinks them back. He shouldn't be the one crying, Ben's the one that's going to die. Or maybe he's already dead. Maybe a Griever has already got him. Either way, Ben was going to be killed. 

Thomas remembers the tears that streaked down his face after the Doors had closed after Ben. Remembers how his mind had screamed at him that this was all his fault. That he should be out there with Ben, awaiting his death. That he should suffer the same fate . . .

Thomas is pulled out of his thoughts by Newt shaking him. "Tommy!" he's saying. No, yelling. "Tommy! Listen to me!"

Thomas returns his focus back to Newt, only to see that Newt has no more tears in his eyes, only worry and determination. 

"Tommy, you have to listen to me. What happened to Ben is not your fault. You hear me? It's not your fault!"

Thomas can feel himself drifting away from Newt. He doesn't believe him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Newt can see that Thomas doesn't believe him. He's not surprised. Thomas is a stubborn one. But Newt is determined to make him believe that nothing is his fault. Thomas helped him, now it's his turn to help Thomas.

"Tommy, look at me," he says.

When Thomas doesn't look at him, Newt shakes him.

"Tommy," he says in his best second-in-command voice. "Look at me."

Thomas looks at him. Newt can see a deep sadness in his eyes. He really needs to help Thomas. Now.

"Tommy, you said earlier that I wasn't alone in pushing Ben out into the Maze." Newt uses a softer tone this time, hoping that he can truly convince Thomas to stop blaming himself. "Well, you are not alone in his death either. The Grievers are a part of it. If Ben hadn't been stung he would not have attacked you. Alby was part of it, he shot an arrow at him that narrowly missed his brain. I was a part of it, I pushed him into the Maze. The other Keepers were a part of it, they helped me. But most of all, Tommy, the Creators were a part of it. If we hadn't been sent here, none of this would have happened. None of it. Okay? So the both of us, in a way, have something to do with Ben's death, but we're not alone in it. Alright?"

Newt looks right into Thomas's eyes, and Thomas stares back. Newt waits for Thomas to answer him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Thomas listens to everything Newt says. And he can't help but believe him. There's just something about Newt. Something that Thomas can't explain. But he feels safe with Newt. When he needs comfort, he knows he can go straight to Newt. And he believes every word he says. An example of that would be right now. Newt has given him the strength to truly believe that Ben's death wasn't completely his fault. And Newt is right, the Creators are the most at fault. So Thomas doesn't have to worry about blaming himself or being blamed by others.

Thomas realizes that he's been quiet for a while now, and Newt is waiting for him to answer. So Thomas looks into Newt's eyes, and tells him the truth.

"Alright," he says.

The stare at each other for a few seconds more before they find themselves in each others' arms. A few tears slip from Thomas's eyes, and Newt can feel them falling onto his neck. He pulls back to wipe the tears away before hugging Thomas again. 

Everything that has happened today has wiped them both out, so they decide to just sleep where they are. 

And as Thomas is lying with his head on Newt's chest and Newt's arms wrapped around him protectively, Thomas knows that one day they will both be okay. They're not right now, but they're working on it. And they have each other. And that's really all they can ask for right now.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

(Minho's POV)

Participating in that Banishment was pretty hard for Minho. But, being Minho, he would never admit that to anyone. He always keeps his feelings to himself.

He walks through the Deadheads thinking that no one is out here and he can have some time to himself. He is very wrong.

He just so happens to stumble upon Thomas and Newt, who are both sleeping and cuddling each other. 

Minho raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he chooses not to wake them, knowing that Ben's Banishment has most likely taken a toll on both of them in the worst way. 

Minho thinks, how are they not together yet? They are with each other all the shuck time. And they comfort each other all the time. They've practically claimed the Deadheads as their own personal place! What the shuck?!

But Minho just shakes his head and walks back toward the main area of the Glade. Hopefully those guys can get their klunk together and just make out already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who have read so far! You guys are the best, and your comments are the best, and I am happy to be writing this for you all! I hope you liked this chapter, and I shall be sure to post again soon! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alby and Minho aren't back from the Maze yet, and Newt is terrified, but Thomas steps in to help calm him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating for a while! School was stressing me out! But I got my English project done, I presented it, and I no longer have to think about it! Yay! Anyway, enjoy this new chapter!

Newt is terrified. Minho and Alby aren't back from the Maze yet, and the Doors will be closing in an hour. They should be back by now. They should have been back hours ago! Where could they possibly be?

Newt is pacing back and forth in the Deadheads. A place where Newt has found a lot of comfort since that first night with Thomas.

It doesn't feel so comforting now. 

Newt needs both Alby and Minho. They've been together from the start. Losing them is like losing a limb. Newt can't imagine living without them.

His leg is starting to hurt. It doesn't surprise him since he's been pacing for a half hour now. He's surprised it didn't hurt earlier. Or maybe it did, and he just didn't notice.

The leg decides to give out, and Newt falls to the ground. He grabs his leg and winces. It really hurts. Now that Newt is actually paying attention to it, he realizes that he won't be getting up for a while.

Newt thinks back to everything he's been through with Alby and Minho. It's not great, but it's not all bad. They've had their little happy moments. And Newt will treasure those forever. He will never forget the good memories. 

He doesn't realize he's crying until a tear falls on his pant leg, creating a little dark circle on the jeans.

He tries to wipe away the tears, but they keep coming.

As soon as he gives up, he hears footsteps coming toward him. He looks up and sees a figure walking towards him. The lighting is dim from the sun fading, but Newt knows exactly who it is.

Thomas.

Who else would it be? Thomas knows exactly where to find him when he's upset, and it's the same for Newt with Thomas. They know where to find each other.

"Newt?" Thomas says. He gets closer and closer until he's sitting in front of Newt.

Newt takes a deep breath and says, "They're not back yet." His voice breaks. "Where are they?"

"They'll come back, Newt, I know it," Thomas says, trying to comfort Newt, but it only makes Newt furious. Thomas knows nothing.

"You don't know anything, Thomas!" Newt yells, surprising Thomas with the use of his real name. Newt never uses Thomas's real name, it's always "Tommy."

Newt continues, "You don't know if they're coming back! You can't possibly know that! The Doors close in less than an hour. If they were coming back, they would be here by now! But they're not here, so they have to be dead! And if they're dead, then I should be dead, too! You know why? Because I can't survive here without them . . ." Newt's voice trails off in a whisper as the sobbing takes over. Tear after tear fall from his eyes. It's too much. Newt is losing too much. He can't take it.

He'd rather die than lose Alby and Minho.

He feels arms wrap around him, and he is pulled into a warm chest. This is way too much now, and Newt lets everything go. He cries for Alby and Minho, he cries for himself, he cries because of his weakness, he cries because he's just taken out his anger on Thomas, and now Thomas, instead of yelling right back, he offers Newt comfort. Because, well, that's just the kind of guy Thomas is.

Newt sobs against Thomas's chest as Thomas rubs his back. Thomas doesn't say anything, doesn't even make a single sound, he just rubs his back. He let's him know that he's still here. Even if he's not Alby or Minho, he's still here. 

Finally, after Newt has cried for a solid ten minutes, he says something, "Tommy, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Newt," Thomas says in a gentle voice. "I don't blame you. You are so close to Alby and Minho. I can't even imagine how losing both of them makes you feel. But Newt, if you ever need anything, know that I am here. I'll always be here if you ever need me. And if I'm not here physically, just think of me if you have to. Okay? It's going to be fine, Newt. That's the one thing I do know. It will be fine. It will get better one day. I promise."

Thomas finishes speaking, and they fall into silence while Newt digests his words. Once he fully understands what he means, he hugs Thomas so tight it almost hurts. 

Newt whispers, "Thank you, Tommy."

Thomas is happy Newt's back to using his nickname. 

"You're welcome, Newt," Thomas says, and Newt pulls away. Thomas smiles a little, and Newt returns the smile. It's such a small smile, but Thomas spots it. Newt takes a few deep breaths, and looks at his little digital watch on his left wrist. Fifteen minutes until the Doors close. 

"They Doors are closing soon," he says to Thomas. He stands up--he finds his leg doesn't hurt as much anymore--and Thomas stands with him. 

"Don't lose hope yet, Newt. There's still time." Thomas is still a bit hopeful that two Gladers won't lose their lives tonight.

"Yeah, well, let's just get out there and wait. Not much else to do." What Newt really means is, 'Nothing I do will take my mind off of this.'

They walk back to the Doors to wait.

That night, Thomas spots Minho running and dragging Alby back to the Glade.

That night, Thomas runs into the Maze right when the Doors are about to close.

That night, Thomas gets trapped in the Maze.

That night, Newt is sure he has just lost the three most important people in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! I'm going to try my best with the next chapter but I can't make any promises. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas has just returned from the Maze and Newt offers some comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I've had finals for schools, but great news! Summer break officially starts today! Woo! More time for writing! I'm so excited!!! But anyway, yeah, sorry for the wait, but here is the next chapter! Enjoy!

Newt can't believe how much has happened in the past twenty-four hours. First, Alby and Minho went into the Maze and didn't come back, then Thomas went into the Maze--breaking the number 1 rule--right when the Doors were closing, then they all came back, all alive. Bruised, exhausted, and definitely scarred for life, but alive. And while Newt is mad at Thomas for breaking the rules and going out into the Maze, scaring the klunk out of him, he's also relieved that his friend is alive. He had spent the whole night not sleeping, panicking, and pacing in the Deadheads again, hurting his leg again, falling to the ground again. But this time, Thomas wasn't there to help him.

That had made him break down. His three closest friends were gone. They weren't coming back. But then they did. And Newt wanted to cry in relief, but chose instead to let some of his anger show. Thomas left Newt. Even after he told him that he would always be there, he left. How could he have done that to him? Newt was furious.

Now, he's walking up the Homestead stairs, heading for Thomas's room. He's already checked on Alby, and there's not much he can do for him while he's in the Changing so he moved on to Minho. Of course Minho, being the shuckface he is, hid his pain behind a bunch of sarcastic remarks. Newt wasn't surprised.

That leaves Thomas.

Newt has been preparing to confront Thomas all morning, thinking of how he would approach him. He finally decided to just walk in and see how it goes. 

When Newt reaches Thomas's door, he hesitates a second before opening it. He doesn't bother knocking, he just walks right in. And what happens isn't at all what he expected to happen.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas is sitting up in bed, unable to sleep, when Newt walks in. He doesn't look up, but he knows it's Newt. He just knows.

Thomas doesn't look at him, or speak to him, he actually doesn't even do anything, he just sits there looking down at his hands, which are clasped together and sitting on his lap. He's worried about what Newt will say and do to him. He had told Newt he wouldn't leave him, and then he did exactly that. There's no way Newt will forgive him for that.

Thomas hears Newt walk closer until he's standing right beside Thomas's bed. Then he sits on the bed, surprising Thomas a little, but not enough that he looks up or says anything.

"Tommy?" Newt says. Thomas is even more surprised. Newt is actually using his nickname! That has to mean something.

"Tommy, will you please look at me?" Newt's voice is strained, like he's trying not to cry. That's what makes Thomas slowly raise his head, his eyes meeting Newt's watery ones. And that's what makes Thomas tear up as well.

He takes a deep breath and finally says something. "Newt, I'm so sorry."

He breaks down into sobs, trying to speak through them. "I'm sorry I left you. I just . . . I don't know. I saw Minho and Alby struggling to get back and I acted before thinking it through. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I'm sorry. Please." He can't speak anymore. The sobs are taking over.

Thomas feels arms wrap around him, and he's pulled into a warm chest. He's surprised. He was so sure Newt was mad at him, that he was going to be yelled at or something. He certainly did not expect the comfort he is receiving right now.

He doesn't care, though. Newt is here. Newt is offering comfort after a horrible ordeal, Thomas is going to take it. 

He cries into Newt's shirt, soaking it. Thomas feels a few wet drops land on his head, and realizes that Newt is crying as well. He isn't sobbing like Thomas, but there are some tears. They hold each other, Thomas's arms wrapped tight around Newt's waist, and Newt's arms wrapped around Thomas's back and his hands smoothing over his back, trying to sooth Thomas. Trying, in a gentle way, to get Thomas to stop crying. And yes, it took a while. But neither of them cared. 

Newt had stopped crying a few minutes ago, but it takes Thomas a little more time to calm down. And when he does, he pulls away, wiping his face, and tries to apologize once more. Newt stops him.

"Tommy, I already know you're sorry. You don't need to tell me again, okay? I understand why you did what you did. And I'm not mad anymore. Tommy, you saved Alby and Minho. They wouldn't be alive right now if you hadn't run into the Maze. So thank you, for bringing them back. And I'm glad that you're alive as well. I'm extremely glad. If you had died, I don't know what I would have done."

"But Newt," Thomas says. "You've been here for two years. Way longer than I've been here. What makes me being here so different for you?"

"Tommy, you've given me so much comfort these past few days. You've given me something that no one else has been able to give. Losing you would be like . . . like . . . I don't know! It would be more painful than losing anything."

Thomas is shocked. He didn't know Newt cared for him this much. Yes, he knows Newt cares, but now he's hearing that Newt cares so much about him that losing him would be painful. Then Thomas realizes something.

"The same goes for you Newt."

Newt furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "What?" he asks.

"The same goes for you. If you die, I don't think I'll ever recover from it. You've given me so much comfort, and you've shown that you care about me so much. More than anyone. And I just can't imagine losing you." 

Newt lays a hand on Thomas's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "Then let's try not to die. Let's try to get out of this place alive. And let's hope that we don't lose each other in the process. All right?"

Thomas nods, then yawns. He's still exhausted from a night in the Maze, and the crying hasn't helped that.

Newt gives a small smile. "I think it's time for you to get some sleep."

Thomas nods. But then takes a closer look at Newt. He realizes how tired Newt looks. "You should get some sleep too, Newt. You look like you were up all night last night."

Newt's smile turns sad. "That's because I was, Tommy. I couldn't sleep while you and Alby and Minho were stuck in the Maze. It just wasn't possible."

Thomas shifts into a lying position on the bed, then tugs on Newt's sleeve. "Lie with me."

Newt is shocked, but is too tired to protest. He gets under the blankets with Thomas, and they move around, trying to get comfortable, until they end up with Newt's head on the pillow and Thomas's head on Newt's chest. Sort of like that first night, Thomas realizes.

He's too tired to comment on it, though, and his eyes start to droop until he gives in to the exhaustion. He's asleep in less than a minute. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt looks down at the sleeping Thomas on his chest and smiles. This shank is definitely going to be the death of him. Before he can catch himself, he places a kiss on Thomas's head. He's shocked at his actions--he seems to be shocked a lot lately--but doesn't regret it. It's made him realize something. He is starting to have feelings for Thomas. Although, when he thinks about it, he thinks, no he knows he's had feelings for Thomas this whole time, he just never realized it until now. Newt's head sinks into the pillow as he closes his eyes and sleeps. He is so shucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! And I swear I will do my best with the next one! I think I actually have just a few more chapters left for this story before I move on to something else. I'm very excited for the last chapter because I have something special planned for that one! So stay tuned! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doors aren't closing and Newt is terrified and ready to give up. But then Thomas comes along with a few inspiring words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Oh gosh, I am just so excited to wrap up this story! I've already got a few ideas on what to write next! But for the meantime, please enjoy this new chapter!

Everything is going to Hell. The Doors aren't closing, which means the Grievers can actually get in. The Gladers have no way to protect themselves, they have no where to run, no where to hide. Newt is terrified. 

He sees his fellow Gladers as a family. He hates it when he loses one of them. It breaks his heart. And now, knowing it's possible that maybe all of them will die tonight, it's hard for Newt to stay calm. 

He just wants it all to go away. He doesn't want to think about anything anymore. He wills the Doors to close. He wills the Creators to just close the shuck Doors. But they don't.

Newt just stands there. Looking into the Maze, knowing that a Griever could come and take him away at any time, but not caring. Until someone calls out to him.

"Newt!"

Newt doesn't turn around, but he knows who it is.

"Newt!"

Thomas.

"Newt." Thomas appears next to him. Newt doesn't react.

"Newt, come on," Thomas says. "We have to get inside before the Grievers come." Thomas tries to put his hand on Newt's shoulder, but Newt flinches away. "Newt, please."

But Newt shakes his head and looks at the ground. He takes a minute before he says something. "What's the bloody point? We're all shucked anyways." 

"What's the point?" Thomas asks, incredulous. "Newt, I know it seems hopeless but there is still a chance. I know it."

"How, Tommy?" Newt snaps. "How do you that there is still a chance we can make it? Can't you see? It doesn't just seem hopeless, it is hopeless! The Grievers are going to come and there's no changing that. We might as well just give up now."

"Newt," Thomas says, and grabs Newt's shoulders.

"Let go of me!" Newt tries to get out of Thomas's grip, but Thomas just holds him tighter.

"No, Newt. You need to listen to me." Thomas waits until Newt stops struggling to continue. "I know how bad this seems. How do you think I felt when I went into the Maze that one night? It was terrifying, and it seemed hopeless. But I still tried to survive, and it worked. I'm still alive. And I swear, Newt, if we try, we can make it out alive. We just have to try."

Thomas keeps his eyes locked with Newt's the whole time he's speaking, wanting to show Newt that he means every word he says.

And Newt's eyes search Thomas's, looking for any trace of a lie, or uncertainty, but he finds none. Thomas really does mean every word he says. And it seems like it's enough for Newt, because all traces of that hopelessness he felt before are gone. In fact, he feels more hopeful than two minutes ago. And it's all Thomas's doing.

Thomas is still looking at Newt, waiting for a reaction. Finally, Newt gives him one.

"Okay, Tommy," he says. 

"Okay?" Thomas says.

Newt nods. "I'll try."

Thomas pulls Newt into a hug and they hold each other tight. 

"We can do this, Newt," Thomas says. "I swear."

Newt takes a deep breath. "I believe you." He pulls away to look into Thomas's eyes. "And I trust you," he says.

Thomas looks into Newt's eyes, and says, "I trust you, too. I trust you with my life."

Newt searches for a signs of that being a lie, but doesn't find a single one. 

There are no words to be spoken, so they just hold each other again, needing as much comfort as they can get before the night officially begins.

Then they hear it.

"Hey, lovebirds!"

They release each other immediately and look toward the source.

Minho. Of course.

He's standing several feet away and smirking. Thomas and Newt, who have no idea on how long he's been standing there, start blushing.

Minho shakes his head and chuckles. "You guys need to stop being all lovey dovey and get inside the Homestead. Everyone's waiting on you." Then he turns and walks away.

Thomas and Newt look at each other before they start following Minho to the Homestead. They each have an arm wrapped around the others' waist, needing the contact. 

Right when they get inside the Homestead and lock it up, they hear the first signs of a Griever, and they both send silent prayers to whatever God is listening that they survive the night. They know it's going to be a long one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that chapter probably wasn't the best chapter, but it is what it is. It's what was going through my mind while I was imagining this scene so . . . anyways! I actually have some recommendations on a couple Maze Runner fics that I have been reading! I absolutely love them! :D 
> 
> Okay, the first one is on this website (archiveofourown.org) and it's called "You Caught Me When I Fell" by notjustanyoneofakind! It is amazing! So much comfort! It's a Newtmas fic and I am so obsessed with it you guys need to try it out! 
> 
> And the second one is actually on fanfiction.net. It's called "Rebellious Gladers" by TheLittleFirefly. I really, really like it and think you should also try this one out. It doesn't have any real romance in it but it does have a ton of bromance. I love it! And Thomas gets called a poodle which is pretty funny! If you want to know why, read it! You'll love it!
> 
> Okay, I might throw out some more recommendations later, but for now, that's all! See you guys soon! (Who knows, I might post again later tonight! :D)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt comforts Thomas after he wakes up from the Changing. Also, BONUS! Newt takes care of Thomas after the Changing! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh we are so close to the end! I just have a couple more chapters to write after this, and then we're done! But don't worry, I'm already figuring out what to write for my next story! I'm excited! It'll be a Thominewt with a lot of comforting! :D But in the meantime, please enjoy this chapter!

Newt is worried sick.

Thomas got stung. On purpose! Newt can't believe how stupid he was! How could Thomas do that to him? How? He didn't even tell Newt what his plan was! He didn't say anything! 

Now, Newt is sitting on a chair by Thomas's bed, waiting for the unconcious boy to wake up. It's been three days. Three long, horrible, lonely days. Newt really needs Thomas back.

He hasn't gotten much sleep in those few days. He was too worried. He just couldn't close his eyes without seeing Thomas throwing himself at the Grievers. He couldn't stop that horrible night from replaying itself in his head. 

It's killing him.

Newt put his head in his hands, wishing Thomas would just wake up already. He wants to talk to Thomas. He wants to hold him. Newt has no idea why he feels like this, but there has to be a reason. Newt wants to know this reason. He wants to talk to Thomas about it. But he can't. Not yet. 

Newt almost doesn't hear the groan coming from the bed because of how lost in his thoughts he is. But he does hear it, and his head snaps up to see Thomas stirring.

Newt immediately rises from his chair and stands right next to Thomas's bed. Newt places his left hand on Thomas's forehead, his right hand holding Thomas's. Newt gives his hand a squeeze and says, "Come on, Tommy. You gotta wake up now. Come on. Come back to me." Newt starts running his fingers through Thomas's hair, and Thomas's eyes flutter. "Please, Tommy. Wake up." 

Thomas's eyes open.

They lock on to Newt's.

Thomas says, "Newt?"

Newt gives him a smile. "Yeah," he answers. "It's me."

Thomas gives a little smile back before his eyes close again and he relaxes. It's only then that Newt realizes he's still running his fingers through his hair. He would stop, but Thomas looks so relaxed. So Newt doesn't stop, but he does need some answers.

"Tommy," he says. Thomas opens his eyes and looks up at Newt. He looks pretty exhausted, Newt notes. But of course he does, he just finished going through the bloody Changing! 

"Tommy," Newt repeats. "I need to know--what do you remember?"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas squeezes his eyes shut in concentration. Newt wants to know what he remembers. Too much, Thomas thinks. He hates what he has to tell Newt but it has to be said. He can't hide it. 

He takes a deep breath, and looks at Newt. "This is a test," he says.

Newt looks confused. Thomas doesn't blame him. "What do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain," Thomas says. He tries to shift to sit up in the bed, but is too weak to do it on his own. Newt helps him. Once he's situated, he continues. "We need to have a Gathering before I forget all of this. I don't want to say it twice, though. But Newt, there is something you should know."

Thomas stops, not sure how Newt is going to react. He silent for a little too long though, because Thomas's thoughts are interrupted by Newt's concerned voice. "Tommy, are you all right?"

Thomas decides to just say it and get it over with. He looks Newt right in the eye, and says, "I helped build the Maze."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt can't take in the five words Thomas has just spoken to him. He shakes his head in disbelief. He can only say one word: "What?"

Thomas looks heartbroken. Newt doesn't like that look. In fact, he hates it. He wants it to disappear. Before Newt can do or say anything, though, Thomas continues. "I helped build the Maze. And so did Teresa." The girl helped too? Newt's thoughts were everywhere at this point. Thomas goes on. "We were forced to. I don't know about Teresa, really, but I do know that I didn't want to. I couldn't have wanted this." A few tears leak from Thomas's eyes. 

"Tommy, I'm sure you didn't." Newt tries to offer Thomas some comfort, but it doesn't seem to help for once. 

"You don't know that, Newt!" Thomas looks right at Newt and Newt can see the deep sadness written all over his face. It's awful. "You don't know for sure. Maybe I did want this at some point. Maybe I'm the one who suggested putting those monsters out in the Maze! You don't know that I didn't, and I don't know that I didn't. No one knows that I didn't! It's the worst feeling, knowing that I could be the one responsible for all these deaths! It's awful, Newt. It's so awful." Whispering that last part, Thomas starts sobbing. A hundred tears are falling out a minute. It's the worst sight Newt has ever seen so far in his life. 

Newt isn't really sure what to say. He's been able to offer comfort for a lot of things, but this isn't on the list. Then, somehow, the words seem to fall together perfectly in Newt's head, like pieces of a puzzle.

Newt pulls Thomas into a hug, one that Thomas strongly returns, holding on tightly to Newt. 

Newt says, "Tommy, I'm going to tell you something, all right? The people we were before all of this, are gone now. We are not them, we are us. Okay? And the person you are now is what matters. Who you were before doesn't. He's gone. The person I was before this? Gone. The people the other Gladers were before this? All gone. The Creators are the real ones responsible for this. Like you said, they forced you to help. So it's not your fault. Understand? It is not your fault."

Newt pauses, then continues. "And please don't do that to me again. I was terrified when I saw you throw yourself onto those Grievers. And when you didn't move after you collapsed . . . . God Tommy, don't do that to me. Please."

Thomas has been silent in Newt's arms throughout the past few minutes. Then, Thomas pulls back and looks directly at Newt, needing to see if he truly meant everything he said. When he found all traces of genuine truth, he wrapped his arms around Newt again. He rested his head on Newt's shoulder, and took a few deep breaths, calming down the rest of the way. 

Then he said, "I won't. Thank you, Newt. For everything. Ever since I arrived here you've been nothing but nice to me. You've one so much for me, and I can't thank you enough. You've given me comfort, you made me a Runner, you've made me the slightest bit happy when I was sad, Hell, you still have faith in me even after I told you I helped create the Maze. So thank you, Newt. Thank you so much."

They hold each other tight for a few more seconds, before letting go. They find themselves lost in each others' eyes. And they find themselves leaning in, closer, closer, and even closer, until they're kissing. It isn't rough, and there's no tongue, but it's completely fine with them. It's just as amazing. 

They part, and they find themselves lost again. Then Newt says, "Wow."

And Thomas says, "Yeah."

Silence again.

Then Newt again. "So what does this make us?"

Thomas again. "I don't know. I guess . . . boyfriends? Is that even a thing here?"

Newt laughed. "I guess it could be," he said. Then he looked at the digital watch on his wrist. "Oh, shuck, Tommy. I need to alert the other Keepers of the Gathering. And you need to rest up. You need to have the energy to explain your memories to everyone."

Just the thought of using up energy made Thomas feels weak, and he fell back against the wall, letting out a groan. 

"Tommy?" Newt says, concerned. 

Thomas lets out a breath and says, "I'm fine, Newt. I'm just tired. I think I just need to sleep."

"All right, lie down." Newt pushes Thomas down until he's lying flat on the bed. Then he pulls the covers over the exhausted boy and leans down to kiss him on the forehead. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Thomas nods tiredly, and then he's out like a light.

Newt quietly leaves the room, and goes off to do what he needs to.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt finds Minho walking around the Glade and asks him to let all the Keepers know that there is to be a Gathering in two hours. Minho says, "Yes, sir!" and runs off to do the job. Newt rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen, where, of course, he finds Frypan. 

"Hey, Fry," Newt says.

Frypan shoots Newt a smile. "Hey, Newt. How's Thomas?"

"He's awake. Tired. Probably hungry and thirsty, too, by this point. Think you can cook up something for him?"

"Sure, Newt. It's the least I can do--his Changing sounded awful."

Newt sighs. "Yeah, it did."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About fifteen minutes later, Newt has soup in one hand and a glass of cold water in the other as he's walking up the Homestead stairs to Thomas's room. 

He manages to open the door and the sight makes him smile.

Thomas is curled up on his side, his face relaxed and his breathing more even and deep than Newt has ever seen. 

Newt sets the food down on the bedside table, and, wishing he didn't have to, wakes Thomas up. 

"Tommy, wake up. You need to eat."

Thomas groans but wakes up and opens his eyes. He looks a little dazed until his eyes land on the food. "What is that?" he asks, his voice a little hoarse from just waking up.

"Soup," Newt answers. "Now, come on, sit up."

Newt helps Thomas sit up, then hands him the bowl of soup. Thomas eats slowly but hungrily. Newt sits next to him on the bed.

"You better eat all of that," he says. "You're going to need all the energy you can get."

Thomas nods and keeps eating. He finishes the whole thing in less than ten minutes. It was a lot of soup, but Thomas keeps it down. 

Newt hands him the glass of water and Thomas chugs the whole thing down, making Newt chuckle a little.

Thomas looks at him, confused. "What?" he asks.

Newt just shakes his head. "Nothing," he says. "Feel a little better now?"

Thomas nods. "Yeah, I do. Thank you."

Newt nods. "You're welcome. Now get back to sleep."

Thomas rolls his eyes. "But I just woke up," he whines.

"Yes, and you were still very tired when I woke you. So lie back down, close your eyes, and go back to sleep."

"Yes, Mother." Thomas lies down and Newt pulls the covers over him.

"Actually," Newt says with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure it's 'Yes, Boyfriend." 

Thomas rolls his eyes again. "Whatever," he says. Then his faces takes on a weird expression.

Newt asks, "What? What's wrong."

Thomas shakes his head. "Nothing," he says. "Just, um, will you . . . will you lie with me?"

Thomas doesn't look at Newt while he says this, but Newt puts his hand under Thomas's chin and lifts his head up, forcing him to make eye contact. "Yes, I will lie with you. You don't need to worry about asking me, anyways, I was going to either way."

Thomas smiles and scoots over, making room for Newt. Newt climbs into the bed and under the covers. They both move around until Newt becomes the big spoon and Thomas the little one. They both relax and let out a sigh of content. 

There are bad things ahead of them. They know this war isn't over yet. But they're not going to dwell on it now. They're going to enjoy the peace while they have it. They'll deal with the hard stuff later. For now, they're just going to sleep while they still can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? Did you like the bonus? It took me a little while to write this chapter because I wanted it to be good. So I hope you liked it, and I'll try my best to post again soon! :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a plan to go into the Maze, fight the Grievers, use the code, and escape. But Newt isn't doing to well with the fact that he has to go into the Maze where his worst nightmares originated. But with the help of Thomas, Newt finds a way to gain the strength and courage he needs to face his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, I am so sorry for not updating for so long! For some reason I never really felt like it, and then I found this cool craft online that I've been obsessing about and then there's the whole 4th of July thing happening and I never got around to writing another chapter! But here it is. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry if it's short. It's all I could come up with for this!

They have a plan. 

They are to go into the Maze, fight their way through the Grievers, Thomas is going to punch in the code, and they'll all be free. Hopefully.

Newt desperately wants to escape this place. It's been Hell for him since he arrived here that first month with the other thirty or so boys. It's been easier to deal with now that he has Thomas by his side, but there are still so many memories that Newt can't get rid of. And now that they're actually going into the Maze, all those memories are coming back.

He tries to push them away. He tries to help out, offer some comfort to the boys who really need it, get everything prepared and ready to go, but nothing is helping. The memories are too much. 

As it gets closer and closer to night time, the panic grows and grows until he feels suffocated by it. He needs help. He needs help right now. And he only wants help from one person. 

Thomas.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas is talking to Chuck when Newt finds him, and Newt realizes Thomas is actually comforting Chuck. Newt sometimes forgets how young poor Chuck is--the kid must be terrified out of his mind. 

Newt doesn't want to be selfish, and turns to leave when Thomas notices him. 

Thomas gives him a little smile, and Newt tries to give him a smile back, but he ends up failing. Which, of course, concerns Thomas. 

Newt hears Thomas tell Chuck to find Teresa, and as Chuck walks off to do just that, Thomas approaches Newt. As he gets closer, Thomas can see that Newt is actually shaking.

"Hey," he says when he's right in front of Newt. 

"H-hey," Newt stutters out. "Can we t-talk in the D-Deadheads?"

Thomas quickly nods his head. "Of course, Newt. Come on, let's go."

Thomas gently puts his right arm around Newt's shoulders and takes Newt's hand with his left hand, carefully leading him into the Deadheads.

They walk until they can't hear the other Gladers, then Thomas gently sets Newt down on the ground, never removing his arm or taking his hand back. 

Thomas leans back against the tree behind them, and pulls Newt closer until Newt is cuddled up next to Thomas, with his head right over Thomas's heart so Newt can hear his heartbeat.

"Newt," Thomas says. "Tell me what's going on."

Newt takes some deep breaths, and tells himself that he can tell Thomas. That he can trust Thomas. That Thomas is never going to hurt him.

"I'm scared," he admits. 

Thomas kisses his forehead and says, "I know, I know. I'm scared, too. We're all scared. But Newt, we're almost free. We are so close. And I know it's hard, but sometimes we just have to overcome our fears. Sometimes we just need to fight through them, and yes, it's the hardest thing anybody has to do, but I swear it's worth it."

"Is that how you felt when you ran into the Maze that one night?" Newt asks.

"Mm-hmm. I was terrified out of my mind. But I knew I just had to try. And when I saw that Griever, it felt like the fear was trying to consume me. But I fought through it. I tried and I won. And I know you can do the same thing. You just have to try, Newt. You have to fight through it. Please."

Newt's surprised. He didn't know how much faith Thomas has for him. How much hope he has. And that gives him the strength to say, "Okay."

"Promise me," Thomas says, tightening his hold on Newt.

"I promise," Newt says, and leans up to press his lips to Thomas's.

Thomas responds to the kiss immediately, putting all his love into that one kiss. Putting all is love, faith, and hope into it. 

They part, and Newt rests back against Thomas's chest again. Thomas wraps his arms around Newt in a protective manner, and Newt has never felt so safe in his life. He never wants this moment to end.

They end up staying like that for about fifteen minutes before the moment is broken by Teresa.

Teresa looks shocked at their positions, but quickly composes herself and says, "We're about ready to go."

Thomas nods and says, "Thanks, Teresa."

Teresa nods, gives a sad smile, turns, and leaves.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas looks down at Newt who looks as if he's in a daze, no doubt freaking out about going into the Maze to fight horrifying Grievers, where there is sure to be death.

"Hey," Thomas says in a soft tone. "Remember what I said about facing our fears."

Newt looks at him and nods. He can do this.

Thomas and Newt both stand and make their way back to the center of the Glade, where everyone else is standing and waiting. 

They're holding tightly to each others' hands, never wanting to let go but knowing that they'll have to. But as they stand, they both know that they'll hold hands again. They know they'll get through this. 

Because they have each other. And that's all they can ever ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you go. I'm not too impressed with this chapter. And when I say I'm not too impressed with this chapter, I mean I'm not impressed with this chapter at all. But hey! Big news! There is only one more chapter left of this story! Ahhh! I can't believe I'm almost done with my first story! :D :D :D I'm excited! Until next time! :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Newt escaped the Maze, but at a price. They comfort each other and fall asleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not uploading sooner! I never got around to it. The other fanfiction I'm writing, "Don't Judge Me," took up a lot of my time. So I'm finally finishing this story up. It's my first finished fanfiction!!! But I'm sad, because this is the very last chapter! :( Anyways, enjoy this last little comforting and loving chapter!!!

Thomas is lying on the bed in the room the Gladers were placed in after their escape. He thinks back to everything that happened leading up to this minute--running through the Maze, encountering the Grievers, Alby's sacrifice, fighting through the Grievers, punching in the Code, worrying about Newt and the others, seeing Newt, Minho and the others come through the Griever hole, half of them dead, but half of them alive, making their way to the strange room, encountering the women, seeing Gally alive, Gally throwing the knife at Thomas's chest, Chuck rushing in front of him, taking the knife instead of Thomas, Thomas screaming, Thomas beating Gally, Thomas crying, the rescuers, the actual escape, the bus, the dormitory, the pizza, the beds. The one thing that's missing is sleep. 

And Newt, Thomas thinks. He really needs Newt right now. Even though Newt is on the bunk next to his and Minho's, it feels like he's miles away. He needs Newt's actual touch. He needs him. Now.

He also needs Chuck, Thomas realizes. Chuck was like a little brother to him. And Thomas promised he would get Chuck home. He promised! And he failed. 

A few tears escape his eyes, and he turns onto his side, rubbing his face into his pillow, wiping the tears away only for a few more to leak out. His shoulders shake from the suppressed sobs. He's trembling all over. God, he really needs Newt right now.

There's creaks coming from the bunk next to Thomas's, and someone is descending the ladder from the top bunk. Then, as if actually heard Thomas's silent cries for him, Newt appears right next to him.

At first, they just look at each other. The room is dark but there's just enough light coming from the moon through the windows for them to see their faces. Pure sadness is written on both of them.

Then, Thomas moves over, giving Newt space on the bunk, and Newt crawls into the blankets, both silent the whole time. Once Newt is lying comfortably, Thomas moves closer and rests his head on Newt's chest. Newt's arms wrap around him, encasing him in warmth and making him feel so safe.

For a few minutes, they just lie there, silently. Then Thomas speaks.

"I can't believe they're dead."

He's referring to Alby and Chuck and Newt knows it. 

Newt nods, having a hard believing it as well. It's hard to believe that just a day ago their friends were alive, breathing, and walking. And now they're dead, silent, and unmoving. 

"I know, Tommy," Newt responds, squeezing Thomas gently. 

Thomas releases more tears, knowing that Newt won't judge him, not after everything they've been through.

"Why did they have to die?" Thomas asks through his tears, and Newt just shakes his head, not having a good answer; actually not having an answer at all.

"It's all my fault," Thomas say, burying his face in Newt's chest, soaking Newt's nightshirt. 

Newt shakes his head and forces Thomas to look him in the eye.

"Tommy," Newt says, sounding strong despite the tears forming in his own eyes. "Their deaths are not your fault. Do you hear me? Do not blame yourself for what happened. Alby made his own choice, there was nothing we could do. And Chuck, he risked his life for you. Okay? Don't waste what he did by dwelling on his sacrifice."

Thomas sniffles and squeezes his eyes shut, but Newt just places his left hand on Thomas's face and strokes his cheek, prompting Thomas to open his eyes again, not speaking until Thomas does.

"We need to continue living so they can, too. Because, Tommy, they may not be here physically, but they will still always be with us. Okay?"

After some hesitation, Thomas finally nods.

"Okay," Thomas says.

"Good," Newt says. He kisses Thomas on the forehead and then on the lips. "I'm sorry about Chuck, Tommy."

"And I'm sorry about Alby," Thomas responds, and Newt winces, thinking of his friend who, up until he got stung, had always been a good leader. Sure, he had a temper, but people listened to him, and things got done. And Alby had been there for him after his "incident." Which reminds him . . .

"Tommy, I need to tell you something. You have to promise not to say anything to anyone, though."

Thomas frowns, confused, but nods anyway, saying, "I promise."

"Okay," Newt says, and, taking a deep breath, he begins. "Do you remember me telling you about my leg?"

Thomas nods and Newt continues, "Well, that wasn't what really happened."

Thomas asks, "What do you mean?"

Newt braces himself and says it. "I tried to kill myself in the Maze."

Thomas's eyes widen and his mouth drops open but he's too shocked to say anything.

Newt says, "I had gotten very depressed. Everything seemed hopeless. So I decided to jump. I climbed up one of the walls and just let go. I didn't climb high enough, though, and I ended up damaging my leg instead of dying. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the Doors closed. It took a while, but I was finally able to walk again, though I had a limp, and I always would have it. But regardless, I was still alive. And I realized how stupid I was to try to kill myself. I had Alby, Minho, and everyone else by my side, and I couldn't ask for anything more. That's when you came along. And you changed everything. You gave me more hope and happiness and comfort than I could ever ask for. And you continue giving me more to this day. So thank you, Tommy. You are an amazing person. And I love you."

Tears are streaming down both their faces by the time Newt stops speaking, and Thomas, having nothing to say, just captures Newt's lips in a sweet and loving kiss. 

"God, Newt," Thomas says when they break apart. "Thank you for telling me. I . . . I promise not to tell anyone. And I'm so glad Alby found you that day. I don't think I would've survived my days at the Glade without you. You gave me hope and comfort and I love you, too."

They wrap their arms around each other and cry, mourning the losses of their friends but also happy because they still have each other. And there's another feeling: hope.

Newt pulls away just enough so he can see Thomas's face.

"Tommy," he says. "I want you to remember Chuck the way I'm remembering Alby. I'm remembering Alby as the guy who saved my life in more ways than one. And that is how you should remember Chuck. I believe everyone is saving a life right now just by being here. Tommy, you are saving my life right now."

"You're saving mine, too, Newt," Thomas says, smiling. "I will remember Chuck as the boy who saved my life. I'll remember everyone that way. Thank you so much, Newt. You're saving my life right now, too."

Newt smiles back at Thomas and they embrace each other again. Then they decide they should get some sleep. Who knows what tomorrow will be like?

They share a small kiss before getting back into their previous position--with Thomas resting his head on Newt's chest and Newt's arms around Thomas.

Thomas closes his eyes, and finds it's a lot easier to fall asleep with Newt holding him, and says, "Good night, Newt," before he's out within seconds.

Newt, however, stays awake a few minutes more to watch Thomas sleep. He smiles at the peaceful look on his face and plants a kiss on Thomas's head. He says, "Good night, Tommy. I love you so much."

Then Newt closes his eyes and falls into sleep with Thomas.

But, even in sleep, Newt's grip never eases. 

And Thomas's smile never falls.

Not when they're both surrounded by comfort and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end! :'( :'( :'( But I feel so great right now! I feel like I truly accomplished something! :D :D :D I hope you liked this story! And if you want more by me, check out my newest fanfiction, "Don't Judge Me." It's a tominewt! I hope you check it out! But for now, goodbye!!! :D :D :D :D


End file.
